Blessed 18 of augusti 2021

 See time fly away, but InI always remain.            In the same state of conciousness.

There is a new day dem seh, but all that mean is new fuckry others ago gwaan wid zeen.

A new day doesn't mean, that I have to change in any way. All thoe my body might decide to go to a different place, in nature. You see I'm blessed. I can do what ever I want to every single day of my life.

However, Babylon dem a do anything dem can to stop me from proceeding. That is the truth. I will go get a cup of coffey now. Only problem is that the phone only have 32% and I don't know weh da charga deh zeen... The barrety capability of Samsung is really much better than on Iphone.

Over all and everything is much better than on IPhones.

Jason aka Shokryme is my crush, who just like mi other crush Haval and Vybz Kartel is locked up! Mi affi deal with that fuckry also. All summer I've been locked up. Last summer too!! Pussyclaat poor likkle eediot swedes!

I mean if I was sick in any way,  I understand that I could gwaan chill and rest in a hospital. But that was surtantly not the case 2016, 2020 or 2021! See 2016 they lied and said I was psycotic, because I wrote a note to my mom, openly on Facebook, so that everybody coud see how I begg my mom to leave me alone. I wrote something like mom if you contact me ever again I will murder you. (As is a killer would write in public, about the crime, he was going to commit)

That wasn't even a threat I mean I had been living with a man that beatened me baad and told me he was going to kill me, like every other month for three years! So I surtantly did not want any more problems in my life.. 

See my mom is the reason why so much shit happened in my life. Because it was she, who divvorced my PERFECT dad, and moved in with a fat man, that have beeten me every month between 5 till 17 years. Both of them drank a whole lot, every weekend. And mom drank so she fell asleep in the coutch ans my stepdad hit me, just because he wanted to do that! See I grew up amongst his children 2 of them and my mother got two new pickeny with him, that was much younger than me. So I was the only one who got blamed for everything! All my life.

I just wanted to die, as a teenager. and I never had anyone to talk to. My father moved to Stockholm wen I was like 8, so I never told him about it. Because it felt as if it was normal, since my mother saw how hard my stepdad judged me and treatened me. 

My real dad is the best man I ever met. He dressed in a suit and tie, every day. He was sitting in the government for 9 years.

So he took me to places everywhere. I remember how we went to north of Sweden and walked in the forest and camped around the Mountain. He sewed dresses for me and he always made us bake together. He helped me with my home work and when he lived in Uppsala he read for me every night, I was with him untill I fell asleep. He is a real man, that paints beautifully, he cooks as if it would be for the nobel price awards. He play guitarr. He cleans and nourish flowers. His home is perfect and he has made two rings to me. The one in silver, with three stones me and my best friends did ask him to do and my wedding ring, in gold. Words can't describe how much I love him, because he is my idol, just like Bob Marley. And the poster I just put up weh day of Bob in my bedroom, dad gave me. He gave me the uprising album also one cristmas and he is genuine and would never lie.

It is he and his only son, that bought me my computer, christmas 2018. 

My mother do everything to hurt me.. You know, when I was 15 years old, she teated me as bad as my stepdad and forced me to go to my room, she pushed me up the stairs. And when we reached the top she told me that she regreted giving birth to me. So I slapped her cheek and locked me inside my room, listening to hiphop, crying. To Eminem-Kim...

During my teenage years I really was living in Hell! All alone. 


So writing and taking drugs, has been the only way in which I have been able to survive, the shit I was faced with. I wrote texts where I said I was going to kill my stepdad, mother and stepbrother.
But I never told anybody anything!

Han är ful, äcklig och dum i huvudet.
Han gör allt som är fel, men i hans ögon rätt.
Han har sårat mig, som ingen annan har.
Hans tortyr utav mitt liv, kommer alltid finnas kvar. Gud snälla ge mig svar.
Varför lever jag detta liv?
Varför måste jag leva här?
Varför inte mig flytta till en annan atmosfär.
Där jag kan sova tryggt och slipper vara rädd.
Känslokall och mist mitt vett.

Mörda honom, jag ber dig snälla.
Så att ett dödsstraff för mig inte kan gälla.
Stryp, massakera, skjut.
Gör vadsomhelst helst bara has liv tar slut.

Who is my fucking bitch mother?
She's as fucked up in the head as my little fag brother. I will kill them both some day.

Then 2004 I met a black soul, that I couldn't hurt. He paralyzed me. Then he made me bortom books on whitchcraft and near death experiences. I painted pictures of souls, burning in hell. I painted myself turning inte a ghost.
I did not have any wish to live left. 

So in the end of August I wrote, that I wished to die. Two weeks after that text was written I got hit by a car and died. Some weeks after that, when I was in a respirator, our cat died. During that summer, I traveled to Korfu. Then moms house started to burn and my stepdad was told by the doctors, that he was going to die. 2004 was the best year of my life. I was borned again, inte a new life. Because God told me that I had to go back to earth. Then oneday 2005, he gave me a house! Free from rent and everthing! I'm blessed, I'm blessed blessed.

The experiences I've got, I never heRd another person got. Now I want a banana. Never ate another thing. Because there is no need  for me to eat. I live of God and not food!
It looks awful with a BMI over 20!
I've been Haninge 19 during my twenties and they messured and saw that my metabolism is as if I would be 16. No one thinks that I look order than 30. In 8 months I'm 37 😃. I never ever experter to live longer than 31 years. 
I shouöd go weigh myself now. Later, like we say in Jamaica.
I sooo love ADDI×2!!! 

I WEIGHT 70.2!
fuck man, the same day I gave birth I weight was 74! What the fuck I must stop eat man made food in total. I'm hungry now at 11am, 
so I will eat one banana!

Blessed I'm blessed. Just ate lunch, so I will wait 20 minutes to drink my coffey 😀. Because coffein n tobacco prevents the body from absorbing witamin. 

Today I got the permission to leave this place from one pm till 8.30 am. Because I told them I needed to take in the ruggs from the balcony, if nobody has stolen them by now. Man mi ago film the whole tging, so I have proof that I'm not inna no fuckry. InI love you InI 🥰.

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