Great American videos I found..

Found this song, like 6 months after my man died. Suh yuh nuh dun kno mi cried like baby... I remember how I felt totally alone in the entire world. Saw no purpouse in living. Since the rest of the living is so very pointless. Eating Lithium to numb my feelings. 🤮

   I got calmer when I thought about the fact that I finally got a "gangster", to go to God. Instead of continuing living in hell.. I suppose he would thank me, for putting up with his shit for 6 years!  

Woke at 2am and have been laying listening  to music and reading, for some hours... I will listen to the song above and try to sleep now, because I want to have the energy to do things..

Ooohh 😯. Woke up at 9 am😀. Give thanks.

So, in some hour, I will get up from the bed, anyway ☺️

I need to, I need to and yes, I will do so too 😇. Love yuh God... Shit I have soo much I would want to say. But I'm exhausted 😅. Hahaha 🤣

See it is a bigg ass problem, with Jamaican man... Because most of them is just SOO pretty and I don't want any man uzimi...

In English you should say men, in plural. 

But in Jamaican you say one man, two man and a girl is a man, same way❣️

   Haha, the thing is that when I started to refer to myself as a man. Most of them, tell me that I'm no man. Hehehe. 

   But I mean I have been asociating myself and hanging with males, since I been very young and I sure as hell do not reason and think like a girl does... So wah, u kno InI betta than I??

  Since daycare I've been friends with men. And back then I started playing Mario and my dad gave me a gun... Well, a bang powder pistol... My dad gave me the interest to read, write and paint, because I thought that it was very interesting to view how he was living.

   I mean my mom and 3 older sisters, where treating me as if I was some kind of dolly. So I got fed up with 'being a girl' fairly soon.

But you know, I was being forced into living this idea, most people in this society have also 🥶. It was a horrible thing, to go to school, fi true. 

Writing because it's important to wake up soon. Maby I should go and eat something? Well I have to install, the bloodclaat router, so that I can watch plenty Youtube videos, on the tv. See I didn't want to do that the first two months I have been living here, because I was supporting someone else and wished to fullfill the maintainance reqirements. Created by the rasist government! But now IDGAF, since it would be the better, if I have something to do during the following months...

Oh, yesterday I wrote with some girls and they where claiming that it is hard and not easy to have an infant. They all agreed and had commented on an article somebody wrote about it being ok, to not feel great. When you have a young baby... (Living in what the Swedish call; Bebis Bubblan)

   So I wrote my opinion, that where much different than theirs. When I had my first daughter, it was very much easier than I had expected. She slept most of the time and almost never cried. She didn't become sick neither. And I could go and do everything like normal finally! I mean when I was pregnant I was suicidal and felt horrible 95% of the time! So what TF is hard about AFTER you give birth?

Some of them got upset with me then. They said that I was mocking the poor mothers and claimed that it is very hard to have an infant!? One of them said that the baby might not sleep, for more than 30 minutes at the time. Or having Kolik= "a disease that make the baby cry all the time". Getting sick etc...

Well I understand that it would be harder if you have more then one child, but me personally did not think that it was exhausting to feed the baby every third hour, around the clock. Because I got some kind of energy and wish to feed her. So I actually wanted to do it. Or as they say in Jamaica DWEET 😃❤️‍🔥.        

Haha, most people actually talk normal English in that country to. But I don't really understand when they speak it. (Which many of them unfortunately do, with me automatically. Since I'm white)

   Patois is soo much easier!

Ok, now I've layed awake for like an hour. So I should go up and do what I have to... I mean it is InI life, so the baby would have to adjust itself to me. And wait. I mean when I was a child I had to wait, untill my parents where done with doing what ever they where doing. I don't see a reason for ending my own life, starting to live somebody elses! THAT is probably the mistake these women are doing, living entierly for their baby and neglecting themselves!

Yea an infant would need to get changed dipers and food all the time, but I mean that's very much easier. Than having to go out in this society working! How horrible to have to wake up, when the alarm rings! Absolutely awful having to adjust your own behaviour based on what your boss thinks! As if he wouldn't be an adult himself, that could take care of his own business! God is my God, a man is just a man. So why di bloodclaat could another persons opinions, make you feel in anyway?

I want music first. Then I'll go up...

Yea it's kind of hillarius, how most people reason. Them that never ever have experienced anything hard. What you are stressing about is probably not even something worth reacting upon. Life has thought me, so many lessons. Because I've lived it and experienced it. Those of you that follow others and act the same way as they do. Are not living AT ALL. Your own brain and God, has all the power. So stop giving power to the devils...

 

We are talking about reality. Whilst you are living in the world created by Babylon. Most of the men above are dead or incarserated. And that is the reality. The problems you have, has been created by yourself and not God, so they truly do not exist!

Now I'm finished to go up 😃🥰. 

Everytime a Vybz mi a look u zeet 😂

See I must be some kind of geniouse, because I can read and comprehend. What they are saying.. That's good, but now my problem is that I don't have any idea, where the "bredbandsuttaget" is located? Yesterday I spoke with a woman that said they use to be located in the hallway, but I can not bother to bend down, trying to connect it. Because I would almost have to lay on the floor! So I'll go drink something now. I would love a cappuccino, but I have non and I would never go to a café and spend like 40kr on something I could make myself! That's stupid. Money are not made to be spent, but to be an help!

I suspect that is what they ment. But I just see how I should really paint that thing blue...

Now I'll mix those things and make something that taste nice. It is absolutely crazy that we used to claim that some women where witches and burn them to death! And is infact having doctors, doing the exact same things, but unnatural. Whilst they are getting payed.. The only difference is that the doctors think and do what other people wrote and a witch believes...

   Most humans are very stupid and I don't think that I am better than anybody, or acting illegally. Because I have an opinion!

Mmmm 🙂. Hopefully now I'll stay up.. I only eat two pieces of dark chokolate a day, and there is no problem with doing that. The Coffee taste ok suh nuh mi a nyaam n gwaan.. = so now I will eat this and start to act.

 

Mm jupp. Should comment on this, after I've done what I need to...

Soo I connected the thing, but it never clicked or looks like it normally does... So now I'll just try to get electricity to the router..

Ooh no. This look horrible. Jah kno, but I'm too tierd and incompatible to fix it... Give Thanks...

I should probably restart the phone and like set up the next one... Can't take that "roof" on the stroller down thoe, I pushed a Button on each side. But it still didn't come down.. Have to ask mom... 

Oh God thank you for the net. Because I have not been having wireless internet, since last June. Stopped it, when I traveled... Nice. It is very fast, so I don't have to do things very slow again 😀. Blessed... 

Bwoy I would have to go to the Ica today and look if I could get help with getting an apple id. Have no idea if they have a phone place there, but they had a pharmacy, I remember.. However it was alot of walking needed, to go from the busstop, to the store... And I'm hungry/tierd... But they have a few resturants there if I could remember... It's such a hassle to go there, because I can't do it like I normally would and be fast... I don't want to stress... And I would have to wash myself more and dress warmer to go there... Plus the buss tickets will be like 28+28 :/... Since I don't want to hurry... KSMT (I do that because it's such a funny sound to make and I just learned it in Cassava Piece 2011 😃) 

See I think it is of highest relevancy, to not wear tight clothes and I'll explane why, when I come back 😔. I hate to go on the road, because I don't want anybody to be able to look at me! But I'm hungry so.. Another Pclaat problem is that this cellphone, that have my bankid etc, only have 23% battery and since I will buy the bussticket with the phone. It will die, if I take it slow... Uzimi?

Oh it took me 3 yours, but I ate say 40 minutes. I think I would have to sleep, because I'm really hurting between my leggs. I don't think that would be a problem, because I'm soo exhausted now...

I think they had that type of screen thing at a resturant in Ocho Rios and they even had Foodora, there too.. All the burgers above is vegetarian. I asked which one tasted the best. Two youth men had no idea, but the girl told me that No chicken, was nice.

I have forgotten that meat-eaters have a different idea of what tastes good. 

I didn't like it, or the béarnaise sauce. 

  I remember how Max sold one guacamole/ bean burger and that tasted wonderful, some years ago. The vegetarian meat, they have, tastes too much like meat to me also...

With the sauce it was 93 kr.= 1.369 jmd and I think that a burgermeal in Jamaica cost 1.500, but I don't really remember? Could look that up lata.. What ever good night... My entire back also have so much pain...

Give Thanks!!

Slept for two hours and now I want this. Can manage a Semla, mi cyaa badda wid food! Feel too sick fi!

Ooh, lets see if Youtube work on my tv now 😃😍😍😍! Mi need it zeen

Ooh no, it stood that there was an error and that I should restart n plugg out both the tv n netbox. Oh, mi feel seh mi affi nyaam sittin betta.. But what? I have plenty food, to warm but mi no waah it right ya nuh... Eeh. I want a banana.. Ate two clementiner, when I came home aka reached...

This mean something. Should preet n zeet wid a banana 😀💜