12/2- 2023 Sunday

True

Today I ate the last Semla, I'll eat before I give birth. I find it harder to take pictures with the iPhone, because you will have to keep still more.. With the Samsung I could move around. But I read that this one was supposed to work, with videos good. So Jah kno. Half a day is probably too quick to make a rewiew anyway 邏. Oh why does it become a chinese sign, when all I wanted was a smilie? How come I have to type every word, without getting suggestions? I remember having to and prefering to do that, years ago. But it's faster, with suggestions ✌. It's very much easier to write with a Samsung.

   Oh looking on these pictures it have a whole lot more smilies than on the Samsung.. But I think that's depending on the model still. 

I loved Huawei thoe. It was great in every way but after breaking and loosing like 5 of them in 2 years.. I never wanted it back. I've been living through some maad years, dun tell yuh. 

Me myself did not break them or loose them really. I remember how I lost one of them, because my ex started to behave very non politely. When we was sitting on the grass, between the high building he lived in and the nabouring house, looking the exact same way. He was low on some drug and I think that he hit me, because he got mad when I tried to wake him up. So I just walked away. (That afternoon) 😅 Leaving everything behind. 

   Hahaha then once I poured water on him, when he was sleeping on the grass on my yard hehehe. U kno, he just beat me with his crutch, when he woke up.. Hihihi, it was funny because he did it as a reflex and not on purpose...

Another time he refused to give me back my phone, when I asked for it. So I just left his apartment and lost another one.

   Then I've been forced to stay at hostels and even a shelter or at his acquaintances. 

   Been sitting and smoking with some of them, on the stairs behind a church. 

There they stole it.. I mean they are poor druggaddicts and some of them was homless. So I never got mad at them or reported any of these things to the police. Why should I? They will not do anything in order to help, but I would need that 'proof', to send to the insurance company.

That's the thing about me. I almost never get angry or feel in anyway. That's such a waste of time and you will never get a wise or nice result by acting so.. (Controll your emotions, and your life will get better. I am happy all the time. Thank God)

My real parents, are also very patient. And they lived together from they where below twentie, untill maby 45, so I guess their behaviour have influenced eachother and me...

However it is quite interesting to realize how I lived back then, that's why I'm writing about it.. I remember feeling great, since I was ignoring those little misfortunes. Why do you make a bigg deal out of nothing? 

   I mean you could always buy a new thing, the next time you get money. Non of them did get more than welfare contributions, (they use to buy drugs). While  I, on the other hand was walking around, smiling. Living my life perfectly normal. Exept that the police was judging me, assuming that I was exactly like them. Just because I was sitting next to! I mean they have treated me in the same horrible way. Having to answer to their rude statements and go to the station leaving my pee, blood and DNA! Plus my body. All tho I was the one being abused and terrorised. I would never ever commit any crime. I don't have a reason to. But the police, just loves to waste the taxpayers money and are hired to assume. I have been arrestend for being drunk, when I didn't even drink, just because I told them that it was better that some recyclable cans stood on the ground, for the homless to take, than me throughing them away! The police are honestly extremely stupid and have a bigg ass problem with their thought processes. That's something that reality has shown me. But you see I can not speak the truth, because then I get locked up etc.

In every bigg city, in Sweden. Good food is handed out for free. To those who want it... 

I remember how I felt great those years when I got abused... Walking around fixing my nails, buying new phones all the time, living at hostels, getting a massage and giving both sensible n not so criss things. To those who have less. Having Bob Marley in my headphones singing the sun is shining, walking, living and feeling perfect every time...

I mean I loved the homeless and addicts, because we where friends and had great fun... I really wonder how "Jesus", Amanda and Janne is doing? I mean they where great characters... But last time I saw Amanda, she had been homless for some years and was using some drug. So she never was funny or nice again, but rude. They could be dead, all of them now, so I wonder :S.

   What's up with Kade and Johanna? Last time I saw them was plenty years ago, when we where sitting in the sunshine on the grass. Right on the opposite side of the road, from the police station. The police are very much aware of this fact, but they just don't care...

    "My friends" where shooting up some Amfetamin and to see their reactions where really interesting... Because they almost passed out for a while and that is not the case at all, when you sniff it, getting energetic. It was interesting to see what an immidiate effect the drugusers get when they use a needle... They shared the same syringe also.. 

   The thing is that users reason in a completely different way, than normal people. We don't even think in the same way again, but they still could think sensible, depending on the drug of choice.. 

   The rush however is waay shorter when you shoot it and your bodyparts get infected. And break or could drop off. Plus it is more expensive, so crimes have to be commited. But I mean some people actually prefer to live on the verge between life and death, and that's the most effective way to do it..

To me, it is completely crazy that the ambulance and hospitals here in Sweden, work for free (during emergencies). They give them that have overdosed everything, to save their lives! So after some hours the addicts, go and do the same things again. So you are just prolonging their suffering :S. That's not nice. I mean imagine how much better it would be for everybody, if you just would let them die. They have choosen it. Still you enable them to continue to destroy everybody elses lives. It is not nice for anybody to live around a druggaddict. And your society, do not do anything to stop them from using! I understand that you support yourself by working as a nurse, police, judge or welfare personell. But how can you be so selfish? Running around in circles.. KSMT. coffee and chokolate 😃.   

I mean yooo.. Tommy is like the cutest thing. I never saw him in normal life before. Only in his videos, which I'm not so very fond of.. He can talk proper Patois and I love that, because it's too comfortable... Some of my friends in Jamaica talk English and that is extremely boring, when compared to Patwa 😃

I loved to be around the addicts. Because I thought it was very interesting to observe them, finding out how they spent their lives. Sure some of them where the drug lords and the difference, between them. Is that they really don't spend time around the users. I mean sure, they could use something to get more energy, like Amfetamin, in private. Or coming to smoke a cigarette and sell drugs. But then they drive away.

   Sure I've met one selling, that took Heroin at times. But they generally do not abuse the drugs. That's the difference. 

   That guy there, actually started to go to the hospital, getting Subutex for free every day. So he could spend every day feeling ok and selling drugs to others :S... You working people do not understand how your acctions is effecting the inhabitants in reality. I've met like 5 men that has died, because of the hospital giving them drugs! And non of the users have a nice life.. 

I remember how S asked me to come with him. But I would never do such a thing! I mean, I was with Ra and I did really despice the people selling him drugs. Because I was the one forced to live around a low (you would say high), abuser afterwards. 

   Yuck, remembering that guy selling, hugging me one time, when we where at the central station and I felt really uncomfortable about it. I was there doing some kind of buisness. In the middle day, infront of plenty people.

I mean the poor users are in the center every day. The drugusers I knew when I was young, where hiding in their apartments mostly... 

I love to investigate the truth and not use.

Forgot to drink the coffee, since I got caught up in my thoughts 😃. That is a lovely thing and people who are locked up and still remain thinking, like me and Vybz. Could really escape with our thoughts. 

Remember being locked up, imagening laying on a beach in Jamaica. I really could feel the soft warm sand, under my body and I listened to music blasting from the speakers. Everything was perfect. Mm n then some jaman came, so its not suitable to continue di story. 😂 Fyah blaze n lean dung..

However, some people would actually feel bad about being locked up and it is horrible to have someone else deciding over your every move.. Plus they would give you all types of drugs, they feel like. I mean that is something, white doctors and nurses been doing for a century. They are really experimenting with the new drugs and looking what will happened with a human, when they deprive someone from all their rights.

As I said. I never fight or get upset. Yet they have been placing me on a bed, tying me up for an hour 3 times, 3 different years. Not because they had a reason to, but because they wanted to experiment or as they once said "take precautions". Another time, only because I locked myself in the bathroom, fixing my dreads. 😲 They're prejudice and braindead. THIS IS INFACT HAPPENING IN THE 21-CENTURY IN SWEDEN. 

   The people employed by the state really are abusing the citizens. What's so funny, is that 90% of the population, have no idea about this. But I've experienced and lived through it for years. And the reason why you could trust my words, is because of the fact that I am sober and observed how it works on the inside, remaining mentally on the outside. But since I was fysically on the inside, everybody. I mean police, doctors, the welfare and even most of my own family. Assumed that I shared the same problems.

 

Great ..................................................................   

Yeeah about the reality with my cellphones...

 I had just bought a new Vaporizer also. But my ex used them, as much as I did.. So I see that his stupid behaviour towards me was infact intentional, now looking back.

   The difference between my usage and his, was that I used it and he abused it. Like with everything else. You yourself can add how much nicotine you want in the tasty fluid and I took as little as possible and sometimes puffed without it. While he was using soo much, that it didn't even taste nice again. When you use that much nicotine, you become dizzy and I remember him complaining about getting pain in his lungs, after vaporizing.. Since I don't know if it really is healthy, I don't do it again. But it's very nice to walk around blowing out smoke of tasty water 🙂.

See I wonder why those cars act like this? Some times they all park right next to the pavement and at times they stand there.       

When I was 19 I passed the drivinglicens theory and I knew how to drive, had been doing it with teachers several years. But I died getting hit by a car. And two of my previouse men and 2 of my friens, plus my brother have been hit... So I don't want it again. However I think it's interesting to understand everything.

I wrote this under this night, so I will read it now...

I mean I have been writing almost every day and plenty nights, since I learned how to...

Woke up this ya night and wrote the following:

Well mi cyaa badda guh reestaat di sittin cah maby it a werk fi share Youtube frm mi phone still? InI no inna technology.

But mi no kno how fi conec di tv to Bluetooth r wah anyting :/.  U kno mi vex caah wid mi nex phone it did very easy fi share it n it was a Samsung same way, newer model than dis yasso still... Mi did kno jus how fi gwaan n a dem time deh did manic em seh. Haha I did reccord nuff vid jus a praise JAman n Jah baad 😄

I'll follow the instructions... Pphhhh

buhuhu, my phone is locked with the PUK now. Since I thought I had 3 times to put the PIN so I tried the wrong one 2 times :/

 I have no idea where that piece of plastic with da PUK letters is and I need to be able to make calls nowdays  

Found it n found the iphone. I have to learn how to use it again thoe, because my last bagga phones, have been Samsung and Huawei..Today I'll go to the closest store and buy drinks. Never bought that yesterday, since it was too heavy. Jag pratar i natt'mössan= I amtalking in night'hat.. I need a .... What ever I'm too tierd. Have to read and listen to music, so I can sleep soon 💜💜

 

Truth be told u neva deh ool. Mi las BBy daddee unfortinatly nuff er more than.. A frass mi did frass n a lie im did tell more while.. Dem tyme deh did maad baad lyk crazy Kurt Cobain u zeet. Jaah kno wah mi did get through.. U kno 

Good Night

"Warn dem enuh"