Oh my God

I first walked to the closest café, but they only had shrimp sadwiches. So I walked to town. There I saw that the price to eat at resturants was 105-150kr! They must be crazy, or people that buy that must be crazy. I mean everything below 100 is ok, but I will not pay more than that for a meal. Too cook something must only cost around 40kr max. So why in this world would I give you more than 60kr to cook? I mean a resturant have plenty guests.

   Found this resturant that had some different types of "Swedish food" for 99kr. So I took fish, potatoe and sauce. Plus I was able to pick the sallad I wanted and cookies with coffey. However the fiskfilé was way too bigg and it taste like meat to me now, plus I get full after just some bites. But I still ate 80% of the food. One cookie was enough, the rest with visible sugar didn't taste nice at all. I took one bite of everything on that dessert plate. But I don't like it. The food did not taste nice neither... But I forced myself to eat...

Never got no princesstårta 😭.

Had to go to the dentist, but I bought a shewinggum first. Unfortunately it contain aspartam and sweeteners...

Anyway I was totally out of breath when I sat down in the dentist chair! I opened my mouth and he gave me local anesthesia. They put on some plastic over my eyes and man, I started to see everything blurring together. I tried to breath but it felt like the air was without oxygen. Especially when two other people where sharing the air around my head :S. So I put up my finger in the air and asked them to open the window and they waited a while. I was really close to fainting there. I became totally sweaty. They had to stop what they where doing all the time. 

   So when they where done after an hour I walked to the other side of the walking street and bought like a milkshake, for 39kr :S. That's like expensive. When I was a teenager I could buy a milkshake for 18kr... 

Spoke to my dad on the phone, he told me to contact Patientnämnden about the previous dentist and to take it easy, walking home.

And that I did. But I mean I can't stop, to close my eyes n cetch my breath, in the middle of the road! I have to walk for 15 minutes to reach my apartment from town. But now the walk probably took me 30 minutes.

I have to stop often. Can't really stand up or walk. Because the baby is coming down. I don't know if it's by gravity or her that is pushing downwards. But I know it hurts. 

   So as soon as I came home I took off the troublesome and too tight clothes. I mean I had leggings under my pants, had to hold them up at the dentist. Because it was very uncomfortable and too tight over my belly!

So if I want to keep this baby inside untill she is expected to be born. I would have to lay down all the wile. 

It never was like this during my first pregnancy. I did not feel these types of pain, untill the day I gave birth.

Why does it come a 🥖 when I type in pain? That's strange, it's called a baguett.

Aaa. Aaj. Even when I'm laying down it hurts, some times. Tomorrow I will have to walk to the midwife, 20 minutes away! I have never done a vaginal ultrasound or checked anything down there. During this pregnancy and I don't want the midwife to look, because I would not feel comfortable undressing infront of her. I would not even like to give birth around anyone. I don't understand the cirkus. I think it would be better to be alone and focus, instead of having hospital staff around. Stressing you out! All their messurments and foolishness, would be better to not having to experience again!

I could give birth better if I could do it myself. Without 4 or more people stressing me out and looking at me as if I was some kinda cirkus to look at!

I don't have any good experience of BB neither (The place you go and rest some time with the baby). You know the welfare told both my midwife and the doctors/nurses to inform them as soon as my baby was born! So I was just able to sleep for some hours, then they came and told me that I would have to come to a "investigation home". If I refused they said that they would take my baby right away!

Just because "everybody was worried for my baby". The people that knew me was not concerned, but the persons that breifly met me and just listened to some minutes, as I had to answer their stupid questions, was worried. Because they assumed that I still had contact with my ex, was not able to take care of myself and was depressed! I can promise that no one who would experience what I have had to live through, would feel happy! Why should I lie about my previouse experiences? Isn't it your job to actually investigate reality? No, your job exist so that the government will be able to get money...

According to them I was going to put my baby in bad situations. Assumptions and lies, is all that the welfare and police is doing.

I even went to the police to "report" SOC. But they did not even write up what I was saying! Everyone working in this society, is working together. You don't have a chance against the state. People that abuse and kill their children, could do what they want, nobody take their children. But me that has been hit by a car 20 years ago, are not allowed to live with my child. Because stupid people come with speculations and untrue concerns!

This country is not fare at all. I mean if I would have acted selfish and left my ex, as I met him 2013 and took an employment, to waste everybodies time. Then they never would have taken her. But why should I have to do that, just to prove that they are wrong?!

I paid 9719kr in tax, every month last year! I got 9219kr back from the government monthly. That means that I pay more tax then I get back. So I think that you just have to pay me, since it was your society that almost killed me! Why should I contribute even more to a circle of madness?!

I mean, yes, a few produced things actually make life better. But 70% of town is complete shit and a waste of time. I mean I walk past all the stores with stuff or clothes etc. Why in this world would anybody, who use their brain, buy those unessecery things?!

My poor daughter is being given all type of clothes and things that a child could have. That is so wrong. Products and things is what make people unhappy. People who consume, is exactly like drugusers. The only thing different is that it's legal to buy what the government earns from! We pay around 32% tax on the income we get and alot of tax on everything that we buy. But we actually get some thing back. The roads have pavements and school is free. We get alot of contributions for everything. So it is very much more pleasant to live in Sweden than in Jamaica.

Sweden is the only country that I have found complete stores filled with candy! 

It is nothing but madness to sell candy and drugs to your inhabitants! Then the government payed the dentist 800kr this time, but I had to pay them 1310kr, to fix my tooth, that the government indirectly broke! 

   In 4 months i've had to pay the dentist 5780! And I should fix some more, but I could fix it untill next october. I think it's almost free after you pay them 10.000, but I don't remember the exact numbers. Or maby the government will pay them 80% of the cost then.

To actually put gold over the teeth that have broken would probably be alot better. Because that could never break. But I don't know how much that would cost? Why would anybody put gold on their front teeth, if not to show of and flash it? I'm talking about the back teeth, that noone sees...

Imagine living in a place with only fruit instead of factory made sweetness. A place that didn't stress people out, so they didn't felt the need to buy nicotine! A world in which you would actually live, instead of wasting your life to earn printed papers. In order to be able to buy assets,  to waste and polute your life some more...

Imagine a world with sober minded people! Where even cars where forbidden. So that you could walk, breathing fresh air, not having to look out for a vehicle! A lady that got sick, drove up on the pavement and hit my bike. How in this world could it be concidered normal to drive?! Living to waste everybodies time... Living to kill others.

I would love to live in a natural world. 

One without concrete, unecessery products and drivers...

If I would put my head over the bucket I would puke. So I just have to lay here and prevent it, all the time...

However coffey and something would taste so nice. But 3 cups of coffey in a day would cause me to vomit, I guess.. Maby I should try it? But no I have to eat the Iron now, so I can't. And I don't have any banana, to calm my belly down! But I have a pear...