Eeeeh 😃

Today I woke up at nine 🥰.

Because I had a hard time sleeping again, after I woke at 12 am. What a silly thing to say, it's called 24. If you write about 12 in the day it's called 12, but the day have 24 hours, so it's much better to count them, instead of claiming that the day is 12 hours and that the letters am and pm after the 12 hours would actually change the meaning of the numbers :S. Whatever.

I was laying reasoning with myself, philosophizing. That's a very strange spelling. The word is called to filosofera. Filosoferade is the word in past tense. And the subject is called Filosofi. I enjoyed that school subject the most actually. Combined with Swedish and English, but I was too shy to talk in my Spanish classes :P. Because I've heard alot of people talking Swedish and English, in my life. Only a few talked Spanish and I've only heard them once or twice. But i've heard a whole lot of humans, chatting Patois. That's how I learned it. Vybz Kartel have thought me alot of new words in Patwa 🙂.

Some people is absolutely crazy, thinking that you should talk as if you where talking to a newborn, to a child. It's tragical that more advanced words are being lost. I mean when I was a child people read books to me and I was around adults, so of course I learned the language. Sure I've had some years learning my English from Hip Hop and Jamaican, from Reggae. Because I've found it to be way more intriguing to listen to music, than words and books, for a while. I see good, writing on a cellphone, but it's way to grueling to read a paper or a book.

(Most people in my family have glases or lenses, but I don't want that, so I'll adjust my life after the circumstances 😅. One of my sisters have operated her eyes, to adjust her vision. But I would never dare to do that. I mean imagine if the doctor make a mistake 🤕. I would not be willing to live a life as blind! How pointless. It is colours, nature and shades. That make life interesting. Or you could use words like me and Adidjah Palmer love to do. But he is too violent, so he destroyed his life 🤧 This song is great, like many of his tunes.. 

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Oh I should show you how marvelouse these walls look, the shade of green is perfect. I never would have used it myself. Because I loove dark green, but all types of green is prettier than any other colour. Thank God that nature/what provides life, is green 🥰😇.

See how colours, make everything look wonderful. Animal fur is also so very beautiful. It makes makeup and human paintings look pale, in comparison=i jämförelse.

In Sweden we rarely use ph instead of f, the only thing I could think of right now is philadelfia ost, some cheese...

I didn't even wright about my thoughts this night. Because I always am more captured by reality. A problem with the Jamaican language is that it is made of very few words. There they use one word but that could mean a whole lot of different things, depending on how you use it. The people communicate in a different way. They more assume/think about the meaning and give answers like mm, aa, eeh, zeen etc...

I really prefer to have a rich vocabulary, because then you can get your real point across. Saying what you mean, so that there can be no misunderstandings. Me too concider unecessery babbling annoying, but if you are actually listening to intelligent words. There's no problem to understand them, as long as you are sober. If you are not of course you capture your brain, so that you are not able to construct proper thoughts.

That's the thing about relationships. They will never work, if you are lacking either communication or honesty. As I was younger I didn't really see the point, of using that. But now I know that any type of connection to another person will work, as long as you talk/write and are honest.

But then again, people are at different stages both fysically and mentally. In their lives. And if both parties are not willing to compromize, one of them will always be unhappy. I mean I accept, all types of behaviours. Because I know that both of us will gain from eachothers differences. I can't believe how many millions or billions of people that complain about the relationships they're in! It is better to solve the issue than escaping. If you both are in it to win it. Some things calles for divorce still...

Otherwise you will never find peace. Sure you can surround yourself with people living and thinking in the same way as you do. Yes, that would be easier also. But what an uninteresting and boring life. I want challanges. It makes no sense to live a life, struggling to survive, while closing your eyes to not see the problems in your life. Or living to do the same things over and over. Obstacles are there to overcome!

I remember me "vexing" at the fact, that you should cook every day. (When I was young). Because it's not fun or nice to make the same dish over and over. But now I've realized that it is very nice, since you can vary the food endlessly. I never ever eat foods that look or taste the same. That's one of the pleasures about being vegetarian. To eat a finished meat, do not interest me. However this night I longed for 3 hotdogs :P. Because it is very fast and easy to make. Plus I have alot of childhood memories remembering eating that 😀. But it is a bigg ass problem for me to eat it. Since I know what it actually is! I get the pictures of piggs panacking in my mind. I've heard piggs screaming while they where being killed 😪. Took like 40 minutes 😭 It is such a shame that we teach our children to eat hotdogs and meatballs. Instead of saying what it actually is. Dead piggs and cows. That's like so evil. When you go to a resturant they say what they are serving, well sure they could say it's a cutlet etc. But when you are grown you can actually know, that it's a piece of meat from a dead being 🤮

There is plenty of vegetarian sausages and if you eat them with ketchup, mustard, onion or sweet relish and a bread. They taste fine. The problem is the processed vegetables, because that is not healthy. But the meat is also processed, so how come those nutrients can remain? But I don't really know if hotdogs are concidered healthy? Plus it's probably vegetarian stuff in them mostly and only like 13% meat? I don't know. Mi no kno.

I will NOT look at the production of meat. That is truly disturbing! I remember seeing how chicken where hanging by their necks, one after the other. While their feathers where being picked away, as they where living. I've seen a cow, absolutely terrefied being put in the same booth. Where his relatives were slaughtered and died.

That is soo fucking horrible and barbaric!

I mean that some men enjoy looking on action movies with violence is ok, since it's just humans who put themselves in the violent situation. But I will not look at that foolishness. Better with reality and a pencil 😃. Been writing all the time since I was 7. That's putting your thoughts into reality. Filosofi is what could make a change. You have to have thoughts behind your doings, or it will fail!

You don't understand how it feels laying here for 2 hours, writing. I've had to hold down my puke constantly :/. I'll have to go clean my fridge now, before the food comes. I am very sad about them not being able to send me the strawberries or dates, that I ordered! I've seen it at Lidl yesterday, but there is no time to go and get it.

I am very hungry, so I'll fix something...

I would have to clean my frige now! Too bad, I don't really have the energy to cook. But I bought a hamburger. I could fry that tonight and eat it with bread, sallad, onion, tomatoe and hamburger dressing 🙂. Give thanks n praise. Jah Live.

This man is absolutely gorgeous! I mean he was both black and white. Slim and fine! I could go on and on about Bob Marley. but now I must eat a banana, so that I don't vomit! 

No makeup or prentending! I mean I really really love Bob Marley. Still I would not be in a relationship with such a man. Because he had predictable thoughts and wasted his thoughts, circulating. Thanks to the weed addiction. Plus the bagga women, he had. That's so unjust. Sure I've been living like him for say 15 years, but that is not beneficial for anybody. But in Roberts case it was. Imagine how much he acomplished in 36 years! He is still earning money, after his death. But as he said himself; Money? What is that? My riches is life, forever more... Wise words from a philosofer.

Gosh, all thoe the sauce, rise and sallad tasted nice. The dead chicken destroyed it. Finally got Princess tårta 😃🥰. But now I am so full, that I feel like fainting.

I am really fat now.. So I have to sleep. Everytime everybody eat they become fat. And every time a living being abstains from food, they become slim. That's how it is, I don't understand how fat people could cry and complain about them being overweight.     It's crazy that slim people are concidered mean if they tell a fat person that they are fat. But it is completely ok when fat people tell slim people that they have anorexia! 

That is not fare.. During my last pregnancy I just weighed 59 kilos, in the beginning. If I should have been concidered normal weight, I should have weighed 65 minimum! BMI is so very stupid. I have weighed less than what is concidered normal all my life. But that is only because I am very tall, so their calculations become a mistake! I have weighed more than my friends, but since I'm taller, I'm concidered to be underweight. :/

I weigh 73 kilos now, with clothes and shoes on. That is a whole lot. My weight, if I'm living normal is 63. That's when I don't force myself to eat more than I want and living walking around. If I would go to the gym and drink proteinpowder I could gain, so that I weigh 70. If I eat all the time, plus medicin I can weigh 73...

Can't believe how educated old people are calling me too skinny. The midwife last pregnancy was stressing me out, saying that I would have to eat anything. To gain weight!

She told me to eat cookies and icecream etc!

So stupid, as if a child would gain any health from that.

This nurse is my age and obviously very much more experienced. She never ever commented what I WAY. She sees that I have gained 10 kilos. The baby weigh around 3,5. The placenta 0,5.  Then the amniotic fluid and the extra blood, also weigh. So they say that it is normal to gain 7-8 kilos. They say that an average Swedish woman gain around 13 kilos, but that it could wary between 11 and 15...

I am not on a diet. I eat more food than I normally does 🤢. But I eat less than reccomended, that's why I still weigh 1 kilo less. But normally I weigh 2 kilos less than what is concidered normal.

Can't believe people focusing on numbers. Good Night.😑